Ramon van Noort Counseling
Guidance and coaching for women
Specialization: victims of domestic violence, intimate terror and sexual exploitation
SAFE STEP FORWARD
Ramon van Noort Counseling guides and coaches women who have experienced domestic violence, intimate terror and sexual exploitation towards recovery, peace, and mental resilience.
Have you gone through a serious experience?
I support you on your path to recovery. By offering a safe space to speak, I help you rediscover your identity and regain control of your life step by step.
By simply being there, standing ‘beside’ my client instead of ‘opposite’ her, and listening sincerely, I created space for her to feel safe and secure. She also gave me this feedback at the end of our second session: “You really listen, and that feels very nice and safe.”
MENTAL SUPPORT
The consequences of domestic violence, intimate terror, and sexual exploitation are profound. Expert guidance is essential in this regard. Within shelters and support services, the focus lies primarily on practical matters, such as housing and legal procedures. What is missing is structural mental support.
That is precisely where I see a crucial gap in the recovery process. And I would like to fill that gap in support services with Ramon van Noort Counseling.
RECOGNIZING SIGNALS AND PROVIDING OUTPATIENT SUPPORT
Precisely at the moment when shelter ends and support services cease, it becomes clear how many unprocessed experiences and feelings remain. In addition to the physical and societal impact of intimate terror, domestic violence, and sexual exploitation, there are deep emotional and psychological consequences. This applies not only to women but also to their children. Both mothers and children often carry burdensome experiences with them. Many women remain in a state of heightened alert for extended periods. Common complaints include depressive feelings, anxiety, stress reactions, and substance abuse. Feelings of humiliation, fear, powerlessness, and despair can severely affect daily functioning.
By recognizing and supporting these signals in a timely manner, the aforementioned complaints can diminish in the long term.
INTIMATE TERROR AND FEMICIDE
Violence is not always visible. Intimate terror often exists in a tension that never goes away, in the feeling of constantly having to be on guard. It is a serious form of partner violence. Intimate terror often creeps into a relationship slowly. What begins as care or protection imperceptibly transforms into control and coercion. You are made increasingly dependent, while your own boundaries blur. Perhaps you were monitored regarding who you spoke to, where you were, or what you spent. Perhaps those controls were accompanied by threats directed at you, the children, or pets, and you felt increasingly belittled, afraid to say or do anything. Intimate terror can also manifest as isolation, gaslighting, and humiliation, and can escalate into serious physical and sexual violence.
In some situations, the risk of a fatal outcome increases,
especially when someone attempts to break free or end the relationship. Femicide also occurs in the Netherlands. In this context, women lose their lives due to violence from a (former) partner. In many cases, this was preceded by a long period of control, humiliation, and fear, during which the victim often initially blamed themselves. The mental consequences of intimate terror deserve serious attention. It is important that signs of physical complaints and mental problems are recognized early within support and care pathways, so that mental support is provided early in the process rather than later. Timely attention helps to reduce symptoms in the long term and create space for recovery.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic violence is violence committed by someone within one's own environment and takes many forms. It can involve neglect, physical and verbal violence, but also psychological violence, such as belittling, threatening, manipulating, or isolating. Sometimes it happens at home, sometimes outside, and increasingly often online. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, or life situation. Shame and doubt often make it difficult to talk about your experiences. Yet it is so important to know: you do not have to bear the burden of what you have been through alone.
MOTHER AND CHILDREN
When violence is part of daily life, it leaves traces. On mothers, but also on children. You might notice that you become tense more easily, sleep poorly, or develop physical complaints. Children may become anxious or angry, withdraw, or conversely, exhibit hyperactive behavior. Some try to be invisible, while others take on too much responsibility. Children often adapt to make the situation bearable. They feel more than they show. They, too, carry intense experiences with them, even if they have no words for them. Attention and support for both mother and child are essential to experience peace and safety again.
SEXUAL EXPLOITATION
Sexual exploitation is a form of human trafficking in which someone is forced to provide sexual services for payment. This is usually disguised as a form of love, while boundaries are systematically crossed. In sexual exploitation, a person's vulnerability, trust, and dependence are taken advantage of. Perhaps it felt as if you had no choice because you were dependent on someone for money, shelter, or safety, and you were pressured to do things you did not want to do. The consequences of sexual exploitation are profound. Physical complaints, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, or changes in behavior are important signals resulting from these intense experiences.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF IN (PARTS OF) THE ABOVE?
Then it is important to know that your experiences matter. Sharing and venting your story is a first step towards more peace, safety, and recovery. You don't have to take that step alone. I am here for you in this process.
HOW DOES COACHING WORK?
In the world of care provision, we want to act, make progress, and move forward. But what does the client themselves want? Where do they stand mentally at the moment care begins? I focus on that essential question. Where is the client, and what do they need at that moment?
Because climbing a mountain starts with building up fitness, not with purchasing the equipment.
During the coaching sessions, there is space for venting, processing, and sharing experiences. I offer a listening ear and provide advice upon request. The conversations can take place on location, online, by phone, or during a walk, so that a session can always be tailored to a format that suits the client.
REFERENCES
“I met Ramon when I had fled from a house where I was held for three months as a ‘hidden woman.’ I knew absolutely nothing about anything in the Netherlands. Ramon gave me the space to speak and listened sincerely and patiently to everything I had to say. This was the first time I could share my story, and I felt that I was truly heard.”
“Ramon is a kind, honest man who gives you strength and perseverance and helps you rediscover yourself. He will support you in your healing process. I always took his opinion and criticism to heart, and still do. Ramon only lets you go when you want him to. I have often had moments when I really couldn't see a way out anymore, and then Ramon was there to give me courage, strength, and energy again.”
Contact
I am ready to guide you with empathy and respect towards a life that feels like your own.